educatewandie  -

by | § ¶ | trackbackLiar Liar

I have lost my last bit of respect for academics, all thanks to you. I can never understand why you have to lie about and exaggerate your achievements, even in your own research papers, when you know that I can easily trace down every single piece of your published work.

You said, “ my mother tongues are French and Chinese”. I didn’t know we speak French here in Singapore as a native language. But I do know that you picked up French only when you went to RGS.

You said, “ I spent some scattered years growing up in Europe before returning to Singapore in 1989”. Really? Are those scattered years made up of our 2 months school vacation every semester?

You said, “ I represented Singapore in gymnastics in 1992’s Olympics”. Weren’t we busy preparing for PSLE then? And why can’t I find your name anywhere?

You said, “ I performed at the Esplanade for the late Princess Diana in 1993”. I think you meant to say Istana.

Nevertheless I still hope to see you directing Hamlet at the real Esplanade one day.

by | § ¶ | trackbackDepictions of solitude in contemporary American life

I've always believed that one should make good use of one's web presence for the betterment of mankind. So here's one such entry here at educatewandie's. An introduction to the great American artist Edward Hopper (July 22, 1882 - May 15, 1967) who's works are currently being featured at London's Tate Modern till September the 5th.

Hopper is most remembered for his eerily realistic depictions of solitude in contemporary American life. All his characters bear the same sad or wistful looks. In their gaze, they all seem to be yearning for a little something that they never will have. Even his landscapes with their stark contrast seem to exude a sense of what is to me, an emptiness that is both calming and chilling at the same time.

Here are a few of his works..


Now York Movie, 1939.




Gas, 1940



with his most famous being 'Nighthawks'.





... which spawned countless spoofs such as these..

by | § ¶ | trackbackDeath by signboard!

reika: I spy in the papers today.... "BY THE end of next year, multilingual signs will be put up at all 85 MRT and LRT stations here, to help those who cannot read English use the system and get around." - Straits Times August 28, 2004.
reika: need to take so long meh
wandie: of course mah...
wandie: unless someone dies as a result of not having the signs.. then 1 week enough liao.

by | § ¶ | trackbackLoser Facko

There are some things in life you will want to go through it once. I stress again, just only once. My list consists of going through the compulsory Singapore education aka taking PSLE and ‘O’ Levels, getting lost in a foreign city, shoving my way through the crowd in Vatican City so that I can take a picture with the Pope, enjoying the cheap thrill puppy love brings, exchanging wedding vow and agreeing to a heavy bet that requires me to appear before Dick Lee wearing a banana mask.

At this point in life, my list has a new entry and that is taking a nice studio picture of me in my formal academic robe and square hat with my family. It may sound trivial to many of you, but my dad slogs all his life to provide me a tertiary education and he sure deserves some tokens of appreciation. He can’t read a word on my certificate, but he will no doubt enjoy the visual treats.

Anyway, here comes the essence of my rant. If you have to do something, you do it properly, isn’t it? So, if I have to take a graduation picture just this once with my family, I must make sure I wear the genuine robe together with the genuine collar and the genuine motarboard. Fair enough? 

So my sister and I popped down to Serangoon Broadway, the most reputable studio in Singapore. First thing we noticed was the convenient entrance for people on wheelchair. I thought my grandma would benefit from this. I gave them the second tick when a sales person opened the door for us. As we insisted on wearing only the real thing, we asked if their robes were brought in directly from Ede & Ravenscroft in the UK the minute we stepped into the shop. The sales person explained that some are the real stuff and the rest are copied from the previous graduates who came with their convocation photographs. Sensing hope, we sat down for further discussions. We were pleased when she showed us the pictures of the academic robes from our respective universities. Before we placed our deposit to book a slot for the shoot, my sister asked again if the robes from our respective universities were imported from the UK. The sales person assured us that what we would be wearing were the real thing. Well since the reputable Serangoon Broadway has been in business for few decades, you would think that the sales person wouldn’t risk tarnishing the shop’s good name by telling you lies just to earn that few hundred bucks. To finish it off, the sales person sent us out politely.

All was good until we reached home. In actual fact, we felt uncomfortable all along but we just couldn’t pin point what was wrong. For some reason, we took out our convocation pictures and tah da! The collars we saw at Serangoon Broadway were not the same as those in our own pictures. The color of my collar was right. No doubt about that. But the way the two pieces of cloth were put together was wrong wrong wrong. My sister’s case was even worse. The front detail of her collar was not even there at all. Don’t ask me why we didn’t bring our convocation pictures to the reputable Serangoon Broadway in the first place.

Naturally we went back to Serangoon Broadway the next day and demanded to look at the robes and collars. I couldn’t say much about the robes because they looked almost the same anyway. But my goodness, the collars were made of flimsy silky material. Yes our collars should have a silky finish, but they should be made of good, sturdy and starchy material with a silky finish. We tried to work a way round with my collar but my sister’s had to be remade. The front detail was missed out altogether.

We didn’t kick up a big fuss. I told the sales person nicely that we wanted only the real thing. If she couldn’t produce the real collars, then we won't take our pictures there. The sales person tried to pacify us saying that nobody would notice such small details. Moreover since we would have to strike poses, these details would be covered up anyway. When we refused to budge, she returned us our deposit, not without giving us a 2-minute lecture. 

“You come to Serangoon Broadway because you know that we take good pictures. It doesn't matter whether the collar is genuine or not. Because 20 years down the road, you will still be happy because you look good in our picture”. 

But her body language told me something else. “You fucking morons. You come to Serangoon Broadway because you know that we take good pictures. Who cares if your collar is genuine or fake. Nobody fucking cares. Nobody in Singapore has the real stuff anyway. And you look like shit. 20 years down the road, you will be grateful that we take care in removing your pimples, wrinkles and double chins”. She didn’t send us to the door this time.

Outside the shop, the entire crew threw us a disgusted look. I looked at them. I repeat. I looked at them. I didn’t give them the you-still-have-the-cheek-to-stare look. In the end, they looked away and pretended to look busy. I should have added, “If you were taking your once-in-a-life-time bridal shoot, is it acceptable for you to wear a bridal gown with its back smeared with tomato sauce and iron burnt? With clever poses, nobody can tell from the picture anyway”.

It is definitely not OK to pay that kind of money for fake stuff. If any of you, UK/US/Aussie graduates, want to take your graduation picture, go to Gloria Studio at Boat Quay. It is run by a couple in their 50s. I have checked thoroughly and can chop, stamp plus guarantee that its collection of academic robes, collars and motarboard are all genuine. It charges more or less the same as Serangoon Broadway but hey it's worth it. I didn’t even have to place a deposit before the shoot itself. And what really impressed me was when I called to cancel an appointment (after I found Serangoon Broadway and before I knew I was conned), the auntie replied with a smile in her voice, “Thank you for informing me. No problem, there is always next time”. This is what customer service should be.

by | § ¶ | trackbackI miss british telly

I think every other student who's been studying (studied) abroad will always complain about the lack of good TV back in Singapore. I can so empathize with those frustrations! I've even got a list to moan about!

Time Commanders - This one's got everything a computer slash war history geek can ask for in a TV show. Every week 4 mates are tasked to fight out ancient battles on a huge cinema screen and then have real military historians and academics critique their performance.

World Poker Tour - Stand aside Stephen Chow, this one's the real deal with real high stakes! Hundreds of thousands of dollars change hands every round and yes they do really push all their chips in for those cheesy "Show Hand!" games. I never knew poker could be such a successful spectator sport but thanks to two great commentators and tight camera angles, it gets me glued to the telly every time.

The Simpsons - I get to watch at least 2 episodes every day of the week repeats and all. And they supplement it with Futurama every Sunday! Classics where the family looked paler to the week long Halloween special. Even Tony Blair is scheduled for an episode soon.

Enterprise - I'm not a trekkie (honest!) but this one's good. Pity the nazi plot twister in the finale though.

ukHistory - No this isn't a program, it's an entire channel! Yes stories about things long past really turn me on.

Channel 4 Evening News - Fwah killer reporters doing the kind of reporting we'll never see on our shores anytime soon.

And the list goes on... the girl will prolly want to add hers.... which are totally different from mine. God knows how we managed with just one TV between us.